Inspiration

I dragged myself out of bed, wishing that the time to go to uni would come a little more slowly. Disgruntled, I promised myself the same thing I promise myself each morning-- that I will sleep EARLIER tonight, only to break it and repeat the cycle again the next morning.

As I sprinted past the uni guard and greeted him with another rushing smile and told him briefly that I'm probably late AGAIN, he smiles to himself. I reach the clinic, only to be greeted by Mr P's charming smile and as I got ready for hours of standing, he pushes an office chair to me, inviting me to have a seat.

Sitting quietly next to him, exchanging polite glances with the house officer sitting in front of Mr P, Dr M, we saw the first patient. Mr P is one of those high tech doctors who prefers to have paperless system to the current cards and records. So, he started typing patient's notes, saving and printing them out whenever he's in clinic or in the endoscope room. Hence, traces of his neatly printed notes are found in files in the clinic-- good bye illegible handwritings!

What amazed and inspired me about this man was his unlimited patience and gentleness. The way he treated his patients, patiently explaining and assuring them-- I can say that patients feel better after stepping out of the clinic! There were endless phone calls for him - he has TWO handphones- and yet whenever he answered the phone, he had this polite and gentle tone saying " Hello? Good morning..". Always so patient and gentle despite the many phone calls, the tremendous amount of things to do (head of department of surgery is a big responsibility)and having to entertain the seemingly endless stream of other doctors coming in for his consultation.

Being around him puts anyone at ease, unless he's annoyed because you're late for clinic duty i.e. not punctual. I feel comfortable with his humility and humbleness.

Then, there was a case which Mr P felt he should ask the consultation of a more expert doctor - Dato K, another inspiration, although in a different way. After he hung up, I was thinking " Oh no! Dato K is coming to clinic!". A little panic seem to arise in me, but I knew it was a normal temporary reaction- I think I have steel nerves at times. This is a man who has the ability to vaporize you (literally) with his glare or look, being the dean of my uni. Yet, he has this aura around him that just draws respect from you. He doesn't demand it, you just give it to him. And yet, there is a gentle side to him, humorous as well, as I recalled how he taught me to tie a surgical knot, teased me as I was coming down the stairs in uni (that was a surprise as I discovered the human side of him.. phew!) and practically ran away from me when I jokingly asked him out for lunch at the spur of the moment :P

Later on, when HE arrived, the clinic seemed to be in a more sharp and orderly atmosphere. For example, as soon as he opened the door and stood in the clinic, Mr P and I jumped up-- Mr P to greet him, and I to greet him and also to hurriedly offer my chair to him. He declined my chair offer with that familiar half-smile-half-serious-look of his and proceeded to be briefed by Mr P as I went to call the doctor who referred the patient to us. The patient had a large retroperitoneal mass extending to the right side of the abdomen. Dato K diagnosed it as a large fibrosarcoma, and advised that it be removed as soon as possible.

Clinic went on as usual and I got to do my first per rectal (PR) examination! The reason I'm excited is because well, not everyone would allow a medical student to stick a finger up their anus, and also not every doctor is willing to allow medical students to have the opportunity! :) I told Mr P that it was my first PR and he was surprised. I got to do it again on another patient later, and he went through what I felt and what I missed out..

In the afternoon, I was asked to go for the continuous medical education (CME) in the clinic at 2p.m. So I made my way, sat down, and wondered how long it would take before I dozed off from the already digesting lunch in me. As the seats began to fill up, one of the doctors sitting next to me, Dr S said " Hello! Are you new?". I was a little tempted to tell her " Yes, this is my first week......(after a long pause)... in my surgery selective!".. However, being serious, I told her I was doing my selective :P She thought I was a doctor *swoons*. Nisha says I must have looked confident and professional enough for her to think I was a new colleague.. Well, I will be sometime soon I guess :) However, I imagined I looked more sleepy, and bored at that time :P

So far so good :) Thank You God for leading me to pick this selective :) I am enjoying myself and learning along the way.. Tomorrow I'll be looking at endoscopes again.. I'm getting use to the idea of looking at people's stomach and intestinal tract.

On a different note, I may need to wear glasses soon. I think I have computer vision syndrome ( it exists okay..)whereby I spend too much time on the computer and end up having problems when looking at lights-- since my sem 7 study break, I realized that whenever I look at lights at night, there would be this radiant beam or star-like projections surrounding it. Which is so NOT normal... despite relaxing my eyes, it doesn't go away! Ugh.. I so regret playing computer games till late at night and watching dvd's on my laptop, and talking on MSN :( I'm going to have my eye checked next week with Joy. My visual acuity is perfect though, the last time I checked last year when my sister got her glasses made. My friends have differential diagnosed me with astigmatism and eye fatigue ;) Hope I just need to use eye drops :P I don't want to wear glasses till I'm 50 at least!!

Finally, I am truly inspired by Mr P's attitude towards people around him. He is approachable and humble, yet because he's nice, he does not let people take advantage of that by reprimanding them. Those are three of the characteristics that I'd like to implant in myself in the future. It reminded me of this verse:-

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. " Galatians 5:22-23

And indeed, we all need to continue being changed and humbled for God :)