Quiet Christmas

I'm beginning to feel so lonely without the sound of laughter, music, smell of food in the air, and the familiar sound, smell and breeze of the sea in Kuantan. All I have to accompany me this Christmas is my books, laptop, mp3 music(on the new earphones that Joy gave me for my Christmas present: thanks Joy! :) ), and the dreaded feeling of doom as my exams approach as I have no mood whatsoever to study. The thought of food and exchanging presents knocks on the door of my heart like some visitor I can't afford to entertain.

I have a funny feeling this is the first of a few festive occasions that I will not be able to partake with my family. The feeling is somewhat sad and depressing. Hrmph. My New Year will be spent in a foreign country on my own with newly acquainted people too. It feels strange indeed. Today's sermon in Agape was quite interesting :) It was on Revelations 2: 12-17.

"To the angel of the church in Pergamum write:
These are the words of him who has the sharp, double-edged sword. I know where you live—where Satan has his throne. Yet you remain true to my name. You did not renounce your faith in me, even in the days of Antipas, my faithful witness, who was put to death in your city—where Satan lives. Nevertheless, I have a few things against you: You have people there who hold to the teaching of Balaam, who taught Balak to entice the Israelites to sin by eating food sacrificed to idols and by committing sexual immorality. Likewise you also have those who hold to the teaching of the Nicolaitans. Repent therefore! Otherwise, I will soon come to you and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it."

We diverted a bit to the topic of sexual immorality and dressing because Balak used Moabite women to seduce and weaken the Israelites through the men, when Balaam could not curse them for Balak. The men were lead to follow in all the revelry of worshipping idols and indulging in sexual immorality because of the women. The story can be read in Numbers 22- 24. So, Pastor Sally was quite right to chide us women-folk to dress modestly because people are easily seduced and we can lead them to stumble, if we are not careful. It really struck me because I know my generation are quite exposed in their dressing sometimes due to western influence and other insecurities. I made a mental check of my wardrobe and I think everything is modest so far, and in fact quite from a non-existent fashion sense :) ha ha.. the nearest I get to being indecent would be two sleeveless shirts, which I usually wear with a jacket..The power of women!

Her words did make me ponder on a lot of things after that. It was quite a good reminder to dress modestly and still be attractive to people. Though I think the second part only applies to one person in the end-- my future hubby! :) I laughed when Pastor Sally said that whenever her husband and herself are walking somewhere and happen to see a pretty lady, she would ask her husband to look because oppression will only bring about more temptation to sin with their eyes. Guys will be guys I suppose..

As the last week of 2006 draws to an end, I find myself pondering a lot on what I'm doing, and my walk with God. This year has been a roller coaster with ups and downs, but in the end God's promise to see me through it ALL still rings clear, even when I don't have the faith to believe in it. God is great always and always. Blessed Christmas and happy new year!

This song was in my head, so I thought I'd just put it here:-

When I Look Into Your Holiness

When I look into Your holiness
When I gaze into Your loveliness
When all things that surround become shadows
In the light of You

When I've found the joy of reaching Your heart
When my will becomes enthroned in Your love
When all things that suround become shadows
In the light of You

I worship You I worship You
The reason I live is to worship You
I worship You I worship You
The reason I live is to worship You