Brokenness
In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD. And she made a vow, saying, "O LORD Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant's misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head." 1 Samuel 1: 10-11
This was shared by a dentist during our weekly prayer meet in uni. The thing that she pointed out to us was the fact that Hannah, prayed fervently to the LORD to give her a son, that she may give him back to serve the LORD. How often can or do we pray for God to give us something so that we may give it to others or back to Him? This revelation really struck me and got me wondering about what I pray about.
Many a times, it is difficult to keep steady with God. Many people look up to me as someone who is walking strongly in God. Sometimes, I feel I'm taking steps backwards rather than forward with God. I feel like Peter who asked Jesus to ask him to walk on the water to Him, and then after a few steps, sank into the raging waters in the midst of the storm, because he doubted. And I hear Jesus telling Peter "Oh Peter! Why did you doubt?"...
Last Sunday, I got an online message from one of my juniors, wishing me a happy belated birthday. I told her about my birthday surprises, and when I bumped into her in the library the next morning, she said "Well, it's you! Of course they'd plan something up for YOU. It's difficult not to love you cause you're always such an encouraging Christian.." and something along that.. It made me ponder about what people see in me. Do I reflect God in my work, family, life? How am I impacting people for God?
On the outside, I may seem strong, unshakable, immovable. But inside, God knows I'm shivering, trembling and shaking at times when I'm not on solid ground. Sometimes I think I am self-righteous and proud, judgmental towards others, selfish and cold. No one is perfect, yes. And I feel really amazed people see me as what I am. Is it a mask then that I'm wearing? A play on stage or an act?
No.
I think this is what makes me strong- the ability to be weak and helpless in the Lord, dependent on Him, only to be strengthened and encouraged in Him anew everyday- to be broken for Him. To think about Him day and night, meditate on His word, impress them on my heart, and love Him with all my soul, all my strength, all my might. God is great, forever and ever.. And He is real even more so when I'm in the heart of the fiercest storm or battle, or stranded in a desert in my mind, where I will call on His Name.
And He will hear my cry..
It is truly when we are in turmoil and desperation that we hear God the loudest, and I thank God I'm being challenged to move from my comfort zone to do things I never thought I could- to be broken for Him.
"Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord." 1 Corinthians 15:58
Moses answered the people, " Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still. " Exodus 14:13-14
Amen :)
This was shared by a dentist during our weekly prayer meet in uni. The thing that she pointed out to us was the fact that Hannah, prayed fervently to the LORD to give her a son, that she may give him back to serve the LORD. How often can or do we pray for God to give us something so that we may give it to others or back to Him? This revelation really struck me and got me wondering about what I pray about.
Many a times, it is difficult to keep steady with God. Many people look up to me as someone who is walking strongly in God. Sometimes, I feel I'm taking steps backwards rather than forward with God. I feel like Peter who asked Jesus to ask him to walk on the water to Him, and then after a few steps, sank into the raging waters in the midst of the storm, because he doubted. And I hear Jesus telling Peter "Oh Peter! Why did you doubt?"...
Last Sunday, I got an online message from one of my juniors, wishing me a happy belated birthday. I told her about my birthday surprises, and when I bumped into her in the library the next morning, she said "Well, it's you! Of course they'd plan something up for YOU. It's difficult not to love you cause you're always such an encouraging Christian.." and something along that.. It made me ponder about what people see in me. Do I reflect God in my work, family, life? How am I impacting people for God?
On the outside, I may seem strong, unshakable, immovable. But inside, God knows I'm shivering, trembling and shaking at times when I'm not on solid ground. Sometimes I think I am self-righteous and proud, judgmental towards others, selfish and cold. No one is perfect, yes. And I feel really amazed people see me as what I am. Is it a mask then that I'm wearing? A play on stage or an act?
No.
I think this is what makes me strong- the ability to be weak and helpless in the Lord, dependent on Him, only to be strengthened and encouraged in Him anew everyday- to be broken for Him. To think about Him day and night, meditate on His word, impress them on my heart, and love Him with all my soul, all my strength, all my might. God is great, forever and ever.. And He is real even more so when I'm in the heart of the fiercest storm or battle, or stranded in a desert in my mind, where I will call on His Name.
And He will hear my cry..
It is truly when we are in turmoil and desperation that we hear God the loudest, and I thank God I'm being challenged to move from my comfort zone to do things I never thought I could- to be broken for Him.
"Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord." 1 Corinthians 15:58
Moses answered the people, " Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still. " Exodus 14:13-14
Amen :)
posted by yeoslian at 12:13 AM
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