A day of sorrow and joy

To God be all glory and power, forever and ever :) amen..

In a race, some people win and some people lose. What hurts most is when it's the people that you love so much that lose in the race.. sometimes everyone wins, but i guess this time, some people lost.

I am still struggling to accept what has happened. I praise God that i passed sem 7 finals. All the hard work and labour amounts to nothing, compared with the grace and the strength God has given me.

Now I need to find the strength once more to pick myself up from the nightmare I'm living in. A nightmare where some things will be different in my life from this point on, and I'll never wake up and find that it's a dream.

I woke up today with peace in my heart. But it didn't prepare me for what lay ahead in the afternoon.. I went to uni earlier to attend prayer meeting, and after the meeting, one of the lecturers pulled me aside and told me two things which i wish i didn't have to hear.

First, I passed sem 7.
Second, some people did not. And I knew who the people were.

It broke my heart, but I did not say anything. I was in a shock, dazed at what i had found out.

Walking down the stairway to the lecture theatre to collect our results, i never felt so heavy in my life. The faces of anxiety and fear and whatever emotions just flashed around me.. Someone could have just stuck a needle in my arm and drew out a whole pint of blood and i probably wouldn't even be bothered.


I was numb and dazed. I don't know how but I got to the lecture hall just as they distributed the results. Sigh.. I could not bring myself to share the terrible fact that i now knew.. so i just waited for everyone to get their results..

anyway, it's been a long day. And i ended up driving back with tears in my eyes all the way back to KL. The pouring rain and stormy weather seemed to mirror what was going on inside of me. It also forced me to focus on driving because I had to get home safe and sound.

It's going to be a long semester ahead. It was not easy for me to accept the fact that some people won't be in my batch anymore. But I thank God for people who comforted me when I needed it the most. MFoong told me to just let it out. Life will go on.

It's what we make out of it that counts.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 corinthians 12:9

" Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not go weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

" "Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit," says the Lord Almighty." Zech 4:6